Navigating Neurodivergence During the Holidays (and Sticking to Your Budget!)
Is it the most wonderful time of the year? If not, an ADHD therapist can help.
Practical strategies from a Maryland child, adolescent and family therapist specializing in ADHD, ASD, OCD, and gender identity
As the holiday season approaches, families grapple with the delicate task of crafting joyous moments while mindful of financial constraints. For neurodivergent individuals, their loved ones, and our furry family members, this time of year presents distinctive challenges and opportunities for growth. This blog post, authored by a Maryland child, adolescent and family therapist specializing in ADHD, ASD, OCD, and gender dysphoria, aims to delve into practical strategies for fostering enjoyable holidays, creating lasting memories, while upholding financial well-being.
Do the holidays stress you and your budget?
It’s true. People with ADHD are more likely to go into debt, impulsively spend, and argue about money with their partners. But understanding your ADHD can help.
Understanding Neurodivergence
It is estimated that about 15–20% of people are neurodivergent, with dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, ADHD, autism and Tourette Syndrome being among the most common forms of neurodivergence.
Neurodivergent individuals navigate the holiday season through different lenses, shaped by sensory sensitivities, social challenges, and unique preferences. Recognizing and respecting these differences is paramount in planning inclusive festivities. Tailoring celebrations to suit individual needs, such as structured environments for those with ADHD or quieter gatherings for those with sensory sensitivities, fosters a more accommodating and gratifying holiday experience.
Budgeting for the Holidays with your Neurodivergence in Mind
Create a Detailed Budget:
Initiate the holiday preparations by outlining a comprehensive budget covering gifts, decorations, food, and additional expenses. A well-defined budget serves as a roadmap, managing expectations and preventing unnecessary overspending. The key to this is to stick to it so you don’t regret the holidays in January when the bills arrive.
Prioritize Meaningful Experiences:
Shift the focus from material possessions to meaningful experiences. Engage in sensory-friendly activities, collaborative crafting sessions, or serene nature walks that emphasize connection over accumulation. If you find this hard to conceptualize, consider your intention for the holiday season and keep it as your focal point or North Star if you will. It is highly unlikely that your intention is to feel frustrated, overwhelmed and exhausted, yet we all tend to do this year after year.
Set Realistic Expectations:
Open communication with family and friends about budget constraints is crucial. Often you are not the only family needing to set boundaries in this area and others will be relieved that you are starting the conversation. Setting realistic expectations not only alleviates stress but also nurtures understanding among all involved. It also prevents the dreaded word “no”, which is often challenging for those with neurodivergent brains.
Practical Tips for Inclusive Celebrations
Holiday celebrations can create overwhelm for neurodivergent adults and children. Allowing breaks or limiting the length of an event can be helpful in limiting the overwhelm. Here are some additional ways to help.
Sensory-Friendly Decorations:
Craft an inclusive environment by opting for soft lighting, avoiding overly stimulating decorations, and designating quiet spaces for neurodivergent individuals seeking a respite from the festivities.
Communication and Social Skills Coaching:
Offer support in social situations through coaching in communication and social skills. Prepare neurodivergent individuals for potential social interactions during gatherings, promoting a more comfortable and inclusive atmosphere.
Incorporate Executive Functioning Strategies:
Assist individuals with ADHD by integrating executive functioning strategies. Visual schedules, reminders, and checklists prove invaluable in helping them stay organized during the holiday preparations.
Limit overwhelm for your pets, too!
Having your pet around during holiday celebrations may be an important stress reliever for your neurodivergent child (or for you!) But it only works if your pet isn’t overwhelmed!
For our pets loud noises and flashes of light cause considerable stress. They often react with panic, sometimes showing physical symptoms such as diarrhea. And more pet stress = more stress for you! Remember that your pet can be affected by the festive environment, and incorporate measures to cater to their needs.
Creating a Pet-Friendly Environment:
Pets can be anxious too.
Consider the sensory experiences of your pets when decorating your home. Opt for softer lighting and decorations that won't overwhelm their heightened senses. Avoid loud or sudden noises that could distress them. Providing a dedicated, quiet space for your pets to retreat to can offer a sense of security amid the holiday hustle.
Choosing Pet-Safe Decorations:
Select decorations that are safe for pets. Some traditional holiday ornaments may pose a risk if ingested. Opt for non-toxic, pet-friendly decor to prevent any unwanted accidents. Be mindful of candles and other potentially hazardous items, ensuring they are out of reach.
Introducing Festive Pet Activities:
Include your pets in holiday activities with consideration for their comfort. Engage them in sensory-friendly play or provide treats that align with their dietary needs. This not only enhances their experience but also reinforces the sense of togetherness during the festivities.
Managing Visitors and Social Interaction:
If your pet is not accustomed to social gatherings, consider their comfort level with visitors. Some pets may be anxious or agitated in the presence of strangers. Creating a designated space where they can observe from a distance or allowing gradual introductions can help ease their stress.
Monitoring Holiday Food Exposure:
While indulging in holiday treats, be mindful of what your pets consume. Certain festive foods can be harmful to them. Educate family and guests about the importance of avoiding feeding pets from the holiday table and provide pet-safe treats for those who wish to share the joy with your furry companions.
Creating an inclusive environment for your family builds trust and connection that will empower our loved ones with sensory processing differences to advocate for themselves.
Parenting is Team Building in Action
As a family therapist, I encourage families to approach the holiday season collaboratively. Emphasize open communication, involve every family member in decision-making, and celebrate the unique strengths each individual brings to the collective experience.
By embracing neurodivergence (in people and pets) and adhering to a budget, families can cultivate inclusive and joyful holiday experiences for all. The psychotherapist's role is to support families in navigating these challenges with mindfulness and compassion. May the holiday season be characterized by warmth, connection, and the shared joy derived from inclusive celebrations.
