Neurodiversity Affirming Therapy in Bethesda, MD
You’ve thought of your ADHD, your autistic traits, or your anxiety as something that gets in your way. That blocks you from doing things. Or from feeling at peace.
(Or you’re wondering if that might be the case.)
You lie in bed thinking of everything you haven’t done. Reliving the day’s mistakes in your head. Feeling tomorrow’s anxiety already.
It can start to feel like you’re letting yourself and others down. While you’re working so hard not to. You find yourself wishing your brain worked differently.
But you also love how your mind works.
You’re creative. Joyful. Fascinated by so many different things.
It’s just that nobody else seems to get it. Other people’s suggestions aren’t helpful. And the same patterns that got in your way years ago are still coming up today.
You’re tired of feeling overwhelmed.
You’re ready to be appreciated for who you really are. To find your own way forward. And to experience the joy of being neurodivergent.
Yes, your brain can get in your way sometimes. But it also comes with incredible gifts. And those gifts are the key to a world of possibilities.
It’s time to start living a life that works for YOU. Neurodiversity affirming therapy can help.
We help neurodivergent adults, teens, kids, and families use their strengths to heal from trauma and reach their goals.
Trauma? Yes. When the world isn’t made for you, you’re constantly being told you’re not good enough. You may even have been punished for who you are. Healing from those experiences is an important part of neurodiversity affirming therapy.
In neurodiversity affirming therapy you’ll discover what works for YOU. You’ll use what your brain does best to create hacks for the things you struggle with. You’ll start to feel calmer. More capable. And proud of who you are.
What are signs of neurodivergent in adults?
What is neurodivergent? Neurodivergent means having a brain that works differently than others assume it would. Usually when people talk about being neurodivergent they mean there are things their brain does unusually well, and things they struggle to do.
You might notice you are neurodivergent when
You have a neurodivergent child. Many adults start to wonder about their own neurodivergence when their child is diagnosed with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or something else. Find services for your child here.
You’re surprisingly good at something. You might remember details that other people don’t. Or make connections between ideas no one else has put together. Others are surprised by how easy it is for you.
A task seems easy for everyone else but hard for you. Keeping track of schedules, making friends, or planning and organizing are common examples. As an adult, you might notice this in your current life, or you might have memories of it happening in school.
Your experience of a situation doesn’t match others’ experiences. You might notice what someone was wearing, or the music that was playing, but miss the emotion they expressed. Or you find something very annoying (sounds, lights, smells, flavors, textures) that doesn’t seem to bother other people at all.
You openly identify as nonbinary or queer. Neurodivergent people tend to be more comfortable with breaking perceived social rules. You might come out right away after discovering that you are LGBTQIA+, while others might keep it private for longer.
You just feel different, and you’re not sure why.
What diagnosis falls under neurodiversity?
All of them! Neurodiversity is a term for the variety of human brains that exist. We are all part of the neurodiversity in the world, whether or not we have a diagnosis.
Sometimes people call themselves “neurodiverse” because they do have a diagnosis or suspect that they should. The diagnoses that people refer to like this usually include learning differences like dyslexia or dysgraphia, ADHD, and autism spectrum disorders.
What is a neurodiversity-affirming therapist?
Neurodiversity is a term for the wide variety of human brains that exist in the world. Affirming means valuing that variety. In other words, there are lots of different brains out there, and that is good!
A neurodiversity-affirming therapist believes your brain doesn’t need to be changed. Your brain loves certain kinds of movement, textures, colors, music, and ideas. It naturally functions better in certain contexts. And life has room for all of it.
A neurodiversity-affirming therapist will help you identify what naturally works for you. So that you can use that understanding to build the life you want.
What does neurodiversity-affirming therapy look like?
Neurodiversity-affirming therapy starts with the therapist asking you what works well for you. (With young children this might mean watching them play and observing what they most enjoy doing.) As you are talking or playing, the therapist might also notice strengths that you haven’t noticed yourself. The therapist will point out those strengths (such as “you’re very good at remembering things in detail”).
The therapist will also ask you about things that are hard for you or cause you stress. If you have a specific diagnosis (such as ADHD) or you are autistic, the therapist might teach you which of your talents and difficulties are common among people with the same diagnosis.
Finally, the therapist will ask you what you want to achieve (your goal or goals). Examples of goals might be doing better in work or school, feeling better about yourself, helping others understand you better, or having less anxiety.
You and the therapist will make a plan together to help you reach your goals. That might involve practicing a skill that you want to have (such as talking to new people). Or building a strategy to keep you feeling calm and safe at work or at school.
Your therapist can also help you find ways to stay organized or plan your time. Each week you’ll talk about progress toward your goals, and anything else you’d like to talk about. When you’ve reached your goal, you can decide to stop therapy (make sure you tell your therapist!) or set another goal and keep going.
How do you support neurodivergent individuals?
Our neurodiversity affirming therapists help you use the things you do well to solve any problems you might have. Your neurodivergence isn’t a problem. But it can make things more difficult sometimes. You might need to find creative ways to do the things you have to (but don’t want to) do.
We all are happiest when we understand ourselves and our needs well. We’ll make sure you know yourself better than anyone! You’ll observe what you do and don’t like, and what’s easy (or not so easy) for you.
You’ll use that knowledge like puzzle pieces to put together a life that works well for you. That might mean making small changes in how to do things day to day. Or choosing the career, friends, and partners that make you feel your best.
What is the best therapy for neurodivergent people?
Provided by a neurodivergence expert who values neurodiversity and is strengths-based
Your therapist should have expertise in neurodivergence and use a neurodiversity-affirming approach. Neurodiversity affirming therapy is a strengths-based approach. This means your therapist pays attention to and values what you do well.
Once they’ve gotten to know you, your therapist should understand what is easier and harder for you. And help you use the easier things to make the harder ones better.
Can be in person or online
Your therapist should have a therapy space that works for you. If you’d rather walk while talking, use art or puzzles, or bounce or swing, that should be fine. If the lights or sounds in the space don’t work for you, your therapist should be willing to make changes. If being in your own space feels best to you, your therapist can help you make your own space work for online therapy.
Includes evidence-based practices
Once you have those things, the type of therapy will depend on what you want to achieve. If your thoughts get stuck or are too negative, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) might help.
If you feel a lot of anxiety, mindfulness-based approaches can be good. Mindfulness practice is often tough for autists and/or people with ADHD. Your therapist should be able to find the tools that work better for you.
If you are looking for better self-understanding, psychoeducational approaches can teach you more about living well with the brain you have. Art therapy and play therapy (at any age!) can help you discover another side of yourself and process painful experiences. If you find yourself feeling upset most of the time, or get very upset very easily, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can help with emotion regulation.
How to thrive as a neurodivergent person? 10 Tips from Neurodivergence Experts in Montgomery County, MD
What a great question! To thrive, you’ll need to
Love yourself exactly as you are!
Figure out what you do well. These are usually things that you like to do. Or that you find easy.
Choose a career or school environment that involves a lot of the things you do well, and is able to help with or work around the things that are harder.
Develop hacks or strategies for doing the things that are hard for you (such as remembering appointments, doing boring tasks, organizing your things, going to new places). These are different for everyone.
Finding a therapist, coach, or other professional to help you with this part can be a very useful strategy! Other strategies include gamifying boring tasks, or using music or physical activity to help you get started.
Set up your home to meet your basic and sensory needs (temperature, texture, noise level, equipment for activities you enjoy, foods that nourish you) so that you can relax and recharge there.
Connect with people who understand you. This won’t be automatic. You’ll have to explain what works and doesn’t work for you so that others can understand. Then spend your time with the people who really get you.
Heal from any trauma you have experienced. This part definitely involves a therapist.
Forgive yourself for mistakes. You’re doing the best that you can with the brain and the circumstances that you have.
Keep learning and trying new things. You’ll discover more and more that you like.
If you find yourself feeling depressed or anxious, or you feel like giving up, call a neurodiversity-affirming therapist for help.
Other frequently asked questions about neurodiversity affirming therapy in Montgomery County, MD
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The short answer is: make them feel at home. Create environments that work for them. Allow them to stand, move, and sit in alternate positions (yes, even at the dinner table). Change lighting or mitigate sounds that they find stressful. Have a child that loves to swing? Set up a swing. A home should be home for everyone who lives there. And the therapy space should feel like a home.
In therapy, we help children identify the behaviors that they use to upregulate (focus and energize) and downregulate (calm and soothe). We help them to notice when they need these strategies. And use them deliberately to help the child stay in the window of tolerance.
The window of tolerance is the state in which a child is ready to learn. When they’re in that window, the child is more open to trying new things. We start working to strengthen the skills that are tough for them (planning and organizing, for example) when this window is open.
In therapy we also help neurodivergent children build an understanding of what their brains do well. Studies have shown that kids with ADHD get 3 times more negative feedback than their peers. This feedback takes a toll on their self esteem. Learning to celebrate who they are is an important skill for these kids. And a crucial skill for making friends.
At home, it’s extremely important for neurodivergent kids to find their passions. We suggest that parents offer a wide variety of athletic, artistic, and musical activities. Try any activity they express interest in. And help them notice how each activity makes them feel. Once they have an activity they love and are willing to work at, we can use that context to teach a variety of additional skills.
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If you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person. Autists (like non-autists) have a wide variety of interests and abilities. In other words, this question doesn’t have just one answer. However, all therapies for autistic adults should be neurodiversity-affirming and trauma-informed. ABA is NOT an example of neurodiversity affirming or trauma informed care.
Most autistic adults will have endured significant trauma. The trauma stems from trying to thrive in environments that produced burnout for them. And sometimes from not knowing about or understanding their autism until adulthood.
An autistic person who is comfortable expressing themself verbally or in words might like language based approaches. These include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS/”parts work”) and any other approach that we’d call “talk therapy.” If this adult hasn’t yet learned much about autism, psychoeducational approaches can help.
These approaches can teach the person to recognize signs of autistic burnout. They’ll build a personal recovery plan. And learn to self advocate to prevent burnout in the future.
There are also therapies for those who are less comfortable talking. These include Play Therapy, Art Therapy, and movement based approaches. Sometimes Occupational Therapy with a provider who understands autistic adults is a better fit than psychotherapy. This may be especially true if the adult is working on developing the skills to live independently.
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Neurodiversity affirming therapy recognizes the value of many different kinds of brains. You may hear a neuro-affirming therapist say “ADHD is awesome!” Or talk about the impact of autistic stress. You won’t hear them say that your ADHD or autism is a problem.
In neurodiversity affirming therapy you’ll look at the things you really want to do. And learn to use the things that feel good to you to your advantage. Textures, sounds, flavors, and movement that you love can help you get through the things you have to do. So you can do more of what you want.
There are things that you naturally do well. Examples might be writing fan fiction. Solving puzzles. Acting. Playing music. Remembering lots of details. Making people laugh. Playing games. Creating art. Engineering. And so many more. Your best life should be built on those skills, and include connecting with others who understand you.
A neurodiversity affirming approach can help you reach your goals. YOUR goals. Not someone else’s goals for you. Your therapist can also help your family or friends understand you better. And learn to follow your lead in your life. Description text goes here
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There are 2 main types of therapies: treatments that try to change neurodivergent people or make their neurodivergence less visible, and strengths-based or neurodiversity-affirming therapies. Traditional medical treatments like ABA and behavior management training are the first kind of treatments. They treat neurodivergence as a problem, or as the problem in interactions between neurodivergent and non neurodivergent people.
As we have studied neurodivergence over time, we have learned that most of the distress neurodivergent people experience comes from trying to hide their neurodivergence from others. The first type of treatment doesn’t solve this problem. In fact, it can make it worse. Neurodiversity affirming therapies seek to reduce the amount of hiding (called “masking”) that neurodivergent people have to do.
The first step in this therapy is for the neurodivergent person to recognize their strengths and understand their needs. Next, the neurodivergent person finds ways to make their daily life a better fit for their needs. For a child that typically means educating parents, teachers, and siblings about neurodivergence. For an adult it might mean seeking accommodations at work, or pursuing a career that utilizes their strengths. It also means setting up the home environment to work as well for the neurodivergent family member(s) as it does for others.
Finally, strengths-based or neurodiversity affirming therapy involves beginning to heal from the pain of having been misunderstood or rejected by others. Neurodivergent people have many experiences in which they are criticized for their neurodivergence. They also spend much of their time trying to behave in ways that don’t come naturally to them. These experiences are painful, and can even be traumatic.
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As a neurodivergent person, you may find that other people want you to change. They ask you to stop doing something you enjoy. To change your facial expressions, or gestures, or activity level. Because it doesn’t make sense to them. But it might make perfect sense for YOU.
Neurodivergent affirmative approaches to therapy value the brain that you have. A therapist will help you discover your unique abilities and struggles. And find a way to help you be more of your true self. So you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. This is important because the pretending (called “masking”) is exhausting.
It’s probably true that your brain can make it harder to get things done. Or to connect with the people you want to hang out with. A neurodiversity-affirming therapist will help you find your own way to do those things.
Everyone needs someone to help them understand themselves well. (That’s what therapy is for!) And a neurodiversity-affirming approach can help you do that without trying to change the things that make you you.
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We all have brains that do some things really well, and struggle to do others. Using the word “neurodiversity” affirms that reality without saying that one type of brain is better than another.
It’s neurodiversity affirming to talk about people in the terms they use to describe themselves. For example, some people call themselves autistic and others say they have autism. Listen to their language and try to say what they say.
You also might hear people talk about “ADHD superpowers” or autistic strengths. This kind of language is neurodiversity affirming. It focuses on the skills of people with these diagnoses rather than considering their ways of functioning problematic.
Adult ADHD, anxiety, or autism can make it harder to reach your goals. But not impossible.
Learning what does and does not work for you is an important first step. Our therapists are trained to help you with that.
We help adults of all ages handle the tough stuff in life. That includes relationships, coming out, transitions, parenting, health issues, and grief and loss. You’ll discover strategies that work especially well for you. Whether you are dealing with the challenges we listed above, or not.
When you connect with the right therapist for you, you’ll start setting goals. And reaching them. You’ll understand your family better, and set clearer boundaries. You’ll handle stress differently. And start becoming the person you want to be.
Are you ready to meet your best self? Start by meeting our Expert Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapists, in our Montgomery County, MD office or online.
If you’re ready to explore how neurodiversity-affirming therapy can support your journey, we’re here to help! Reach out to Better Together Family Therapy and discover how we can work together to achieve your goals. Whether you’re looking for personalized support, practical strategies, or simply someone to talk to, we’re dedicated to making sure you and your family feel understood and empowered. Follow the steps below to start your path toward a more fulfilling and balanced life.
Reach out to us here so we can get to know your story better.
Learn more about our approach at Better Together Family Therapy.
Get started with a neurodivergent affirming therapist and reach your goals.
Other Services We Offer in the Bethesda, MD Area
At Better Together Family Therapy, we’re passionate about supporting people of all ages through a range of tailored services. We offer specialized tween and teen therapy designed to help them navigate the ups and downs of adolescence with confidence and resilience. Our SPACE treatment is here to provide effective support compassionately, helping children find their own resilience and cope with anxiety more effectively on their own. We also offer couples and marriage therapy, where we work together to strengthen connections and resolve conflicts with understanding and care. Additionally, we offer LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy, providing a welcoming and supporting environment where individuals can explore their identities and celebrate who they are. No matter what you’re facing, we’re here to help you and your loved ones find balance and thrive together.