When ADHD or Autism Travels with You

Planning a great vacation with your ADHD or autistic child: advice from our Maryland therapists.

It has probably been awhile since you hopped on a plane, train, or car for a trip with your family. You might even have forgotten what it’s like to travel with neurodivergent kids (or with your own neurodivergence). Read this post as a refresher before spring break, winter break, summer, or anytime there’s travel in your future!

Most of us feel a little more anxious in the post-pandemic world. We’re less comfortable being around crowds. People seem less patient with each other. That anxiety will impact your resilience, and your child’s, as you travel together. It makes meeting your needs en route even more important.

One thing is the same. Your child has ADHD, and/or is autistic, whether at home or on the road. And managing it on the road is a little different.

Planning your trip with your neurodivergent child

In the planning stage, you have the power to set your child up for travel success. You’re an expert in doing this at home. Use what you already know to take this show on the road!

For example, at home you already incorporate frequent breaks. You probably build in time buffers that allow you to run late, and alternate between your child’s preferred and nonpreferred activities. You can do that while traveling too. 

Don’t forget about yourself!

We put this one in bold for a reason. Our years of experience with neurodivergent families have revealed a specific theme. Self care for parents in these families is at the bottom of the priority list. You have likely already thought about all the things your child needs to travel well. What about you?

Take a moment (yes, right now) and make a list of all the activities or practices that recharge your batteries. Now look at your itinerary and decide where to fit them in. Pack something in your suitcase that is just for your comfort or relief. And talk with your parenting partner about when in the trip you can be off duty and just relax.

self regulation meditation child

Use these strategies from a Maryland therapist to help travel go smoothly for your neurodivergent child

1: Bring your creature comforts. Worry less about packing light and more about bringing your child’s go-to activities.  Include fidgets, weighted stuffies, or other materials that help your child do their best.

2: Double down on downtime. This means build in downtime for both you and your child.  Downtime may mean rest, preferred activities, or sensory breaks. Or all of the above.

Plan to do less that what you think you can fit in. Imagine that your flight is delayed by a day. What activities would you cut? What would you keep? Make that pared down version your actual plan for the trip.

Be sure to spend real time (not just a 5 minute break) in places that allow your child to direct their own fun, be loud, and move freely.  For yourself, take turns taking the kids to the pool or managing the bedtime routine so each of you gets a break.

3: Minimize the in-the-moment decision making. Plan your activities before you leave to prevent arguments about where to eat or what to do next.   Engage your child’s input at the planning stage rather than in the moment.   Here’s why.

Having a discussion about what to do engages your child in thinking about her preferred activity.   When the group decides to do something else, your child will have to shift focus, which isn’t easy. 

child sensory break

4: Build in a sensory diet. Your know your child.  Does he get sleepy and bored on tours?  Too touchy in museums?   Build in activities that are calming, organizing, or activating to bring out the best in him. Especially before the moments he might find boring or stressful.

5: Stay flexible. Have a plan.  But when you’ve planned a hike and your child is jumping for joy at the idea of flying a kite, be willing to head for the kite shop.  It’s important to leave gaps in the schedule or have activities you’re willing to skip in favor of spontaneous fun.

These are our tips for the planning stage. Reading it on the plane? See part 2 of this post for ideas to use when you’re on the trip.

Looking for more personalized support? Talk with our neurodivergence friendly therapists to experience the joy that life with neurodivergence child can bring!

Robin Brannan

Robin Brannan is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist in Maryland, where she has been treating children, couples, parents, and families since 2001.

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Parenting Your Neurodivergent Child on Vacation

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Embracing Neurodivergence: A Guide to Neurodiversity Affirming Therapy