The First Day Therapy Scaries

Just like all my clients, I too have had that moment where you go to an office not knowing what to expect. A big reason I chose this career path is because of what that moment meant for me. I was 16 when I went with my parents and two brothers for family therapy. This was back in the day of course, so it was a meeting with a psychiatrist in her lovely home office on Wisconsin Avenue. I remember that first moment being welcomed into her office and being presented with a choice:

“Sit wherever you’d like”

This moment may seem small, but for a child it can be huge. How many times do our children feel like they have the power to choose? We tell them where and when to go to school. Their teachers (generally speaking) tell them where to sit. We tell them what to eat (and not eat). And, we don’t always have a choice in allowing our children to have much of a say in these matters.

I still remember that I chose the squishiest, comfiest armchair as FAR away from the therapist as I could. I didn’t know exactly what the purpose of these sessions would be, and I didn’t know how much say in the matter I had. That therapist changed my life. I started being able to make other choices and have a say in matters that were important to me. She skillfully taught my parents how to argue in a way that wasn’t so scary. I started to feel in this space that what I said mattered, would be heard, and that there would be actions taken to make my home feel more like MY home.

Without that scary first step into her office, I wonder what those next few years would have looked like for my family. Seeing the amount of change that was possible has stuck with me as I’ve pursued my bachelor’s in Psychology, followed by a master’s in Psychology, and now even still as I graduate with my M.A. in Counseling from Northwestern University.

Who would have guessed that I would be here in this moment when I was sitting in that squishy, comfy armchair.

I know for my clients how much bravery it takes to schedule that first appointment and come into the office for the first time. My goal in that first session is for you to walk away feeling like this is a place you can feel safe, feeling like you were heard, and maybe even starting to feel a glimmer of hope that things really CAN get better than they are right now.

My advice to you for making it TO and THROUGH that first session? Treat yourself! My appointments with my family were after work. My dad would drive home from D.C., pick up the family, and we’d go in for a 1-2 hour family session. Afterwards, we’d stop at McDonald’s and everyone would get a small milkshake (for me - a small shamrock shake).

As we enter Shamrock Shake Season once again, it’s the perfect moment for me to share this story with you about why I became a child and family therapist. I hope it helps make that first step a little less scary, and don’t forget to reward yourself with something meaningful after your first visit!

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