Nurturing Your Inner Child: Parenting Edition
Tips from a Maryland Child and Family Therapist
Parenting can be a rewarding yet challenging journey. The more the child grows, the more challenging it becomes. The more we say we are not going to be like our parents (all the not so kind parts), the more we become our parents. Parenting pitfalls are all around and if I’m being honest, I fall in…quite often. Let’s face it, parenting is tough. But it doesn’t stop there.
“What it’s like to be a parent: It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, but in exchange, it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.” -Nicholas Sparks
Parenting is also a superpower. You have accumulated so many skills and wear so many hats: nurturer, provider, doctor, salesman, dentist, coach, teacher, driver, etc, etc. This job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, a sense of purpose and joy.
“If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.” -C. G. Jung
Our children are a reflection of us, the parents. Metaphorically speaking they hold up a mirror and we see ourselves reflected back in them: the good, the bad and the ugly. Self-examination is not a time to criticize, condemn, or even mistreat ourselves for the overwhelming guilt and shame one may feel when there is one pitfall after another. Instead, show yourself grace. Grace, so freely given by God, it is a gift that is sufficient for all. God give His grace with unconditional love, just because we are His children.
Balancing work and family life, managing stress, and addressing the needs of children also require discipline, communication, gratitude, forgiveness, support, and self-care. So my question to you is,
When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
An inner child is what I see.
Your inner child needs nurturing. Nurturing your inner child is a psychological and emotional concept that involves taking care of and dealing with the needs and feelings of the child within you. Your inner child represents the emotions, memories, and experiences from your childhood that continue to influence your thoughts, behaviors, and relationships as an adult and parent.
Here are some creative ideas to nurture your inner child with grace.
Embrace your Imperfections with Grace.
We are imperfect people. Accept that nobody is perfect, including yourself. Embrace your flaws and mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning. Validate your emotions and allow yourself to feel and express a range of emotions without judgment. Acknowledge and validate your feelings, just as you would for your child. This helps in processing and releasing pent-up emotions. As you release your emotions, be kind and compassionate to yourself. Pay attention to your inner dialogue. Replace negative or critical self-talk with positive and nurturing affirmations. Speak to yourself as you would speak to your child, with empathy and offering comfort and encouragement.
Seek and Cultivate Inner Peace.
Seek and cultivate inner peace through practices such as meditation, prayer, journaling or spending time in nature. Inner peace allows you to navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience. Practice forgiveness, both for yourself and others. Let go of resentment and understand that everyone, including your younger self, did the best they could with the knowledge and resources they had at the time.
Prioritize Self-Care.
Prioritize self-care to meet your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs. Ensure you get enough rest, engage in activities that bring you joy, and nourish your body with healthy food. Taking care of yourself is a fundamental aspect of nurturing your inner child. Prioritize self-care activities that feed your mind, body, and soul. Use creative outlets such as writing, art, dance or music to express your emotions and connect with your inner child. These forms of expression can be therapeutic and provide a means of communication with your younger self. What did you enjoy as a child? Do more of that! Fun, imaginative play, laughter are key. Whether it's playing a favorite game, cannon ball into the pool, going to amusement parks or watching funny movies, reconnecting with these activities can bring a sense of joy and nostalgia.
Surround Yourself with Positivity and Live Out your Values.
Surround yourself with positivity by building a support network of positive and nurturing people. Healthy relationships can provide the support and understanding needed to heal and grow. Create healthy boundaries with yourself and others. This includes setting limits on what you will and won't tolerate in relationships, work, and other aspects of your life. This helps protect and nurture your inner child by being true to your values and principles. Act with honesty, sincerity, and integrity in all aspects of your life.
Give Yourself Permission
Remember that nurturing your inner child is an ongoing process. By fostering a compassionate and caring relationship with yourself, you can promote emotional well-being and cultivate a more fulfilling life. Say to yourself:
I give myself permission to… fret, complain, be scared, feel my feelings… then… quiet down and listen for solutions, draw on my strengths, forgive myself, remember the grace, and keep my eyes open to witness my answered prayers.
As parents we must learn to be self-nourishing, self-full, self-encouraging, and self-forgiving. So put on your Super Parent cape and wear it proud because all that you do is SUPER! Peace and grace be onto you that surpasses all understanding.
