How do I get my teenager to see a therapist? Tips from a Teen Therapist

So you’ve seen some behavior from your teen that worries you.

It’s all the crying or nail biting and frantic texting to friends. Or teenage emotions are really disrupting life right now. (Can we turn the volume down on the yelling please!?).

You’ve talked it over with your partner or family and decided that it’s time for your teen to see someone. Maybe you even read our post Does my Child/Teen Need Therapy? Now you’re wondering…

How do I get my teen to go to therapy?

It matters how you talk about therapy.

Bringing up the topic could seem daunting. However, how you talk about going to therapy helps to set the stage for how your teen may see therapy.

Directing your child to talk to a therapist when they feel “off” emotionally or mentally gives your child a resource. A resource they know is available to them if they ever need it. Just like seeing a medical doctor when they don’t feel well physically.

Your teen may be embarrassed, which is common. And it may be hard for them to admit they might need help.

So let’s talk about therapy in a way that leaves no room for shame.

Making sure they understand they’re not “crazy.” Therapy is a tool that anyone can use. And be sure to let them know that you know they’re intelligent enough to make good choices.

Share how you think therapy is helpful and could benefit them. Pause and listen to their opinions on the matter. If you or a loved one has been to therapy, talking about that here can remove stigma so it feels more normal.

Choosing counseling for your teenager? Make them a part of the decision process.

Ok so maybe the decision to go is ultimately yours. It might not be something your teen or tween asked for. But can they have a say in who they see?

Can they help decide what day or time? Give them a few options so they have some control over the process.  And if they don’t like the first therapist you try, make a change.

Most of the time it will take a few sessions to know if it’s the right fit. Tell your teen how long you’d like them to try it out. E.g. “Let’s try it for 2 months and check in then, ok?”

It takes at least a few sessions for kids to feel comfortable. And find their groove with a new therapist. It will take longer to feel comfortable talking about the things that are really bugging them.

Now that your teen is going to therapy, let them make it their own.

This is a tool you’re teaching them to use. Show them the way. And then let them try to do it themselves.

Give them the freedom to talk about what they want to talk about in session. ( After the goals have been stated and agreed to.) And let them share with you what they want.

Letting therapy be their own space as much as possible helps them relax into it. Without feeling they have to perform. Which helps get to the bottom of the issue quicker.

Their therapist will let you know if anything serious or life threatening comes up in session. So you can relax some, too. They’ll also meet with you regularly to check in on progress at home. 

And if they still refuse? Coming to therapy yourself for parenting can be just as helpful. Therapy can offer you guidance on how to parent your teen.

And it can be an effective way to strengthen the relationship too. You may even invite your teen to come in. To give their two cents on family matters. 

If you’re ready to set your teen up for success, and watch both your child and your relationship with them grow stronger, request a 15 minute consult to learn how teen therapy can help.