The Best Gifts for Your Child: Wisdom from a Child Therapist
As child therapists we have the privilege of connecting with amazing kids. And in that process we learn what they most want and need. We’ll share this wisdom here, for families in Maryland and beyond.
Ask a child therapist: what does a child truly need?
As therapists, we often ask parents to think about what they want most from and for their children. The answers are usually simple. Happiness, time, attention, and affection.
You’ve told us that you want time to spend together (without fighting). You hope your children will listen more. And a little affection from your child or your partner can make your day.
Kids of all ages want those things too. Yes, even teenagers. They hope to be noticed. To have their successes celebrated. And to be your focus for a little bit of time each day.
(They don’t know that you think about them ALL day. They only feel it when you’re able to turn off the other thoughts and truly focus.)
Toys and gadgets are fun too. We do see the charm in that coveted pair of airpods. Or a better laptop for school.
In addition to these, try giving something that boosts your child’s confidence. Or truly shows your love. Here are some examples from families we know.
Holiday Wishes to Parents from Children
Read me one more story at bedtime.
Fight less.
Teach me to bake cookies.
Put out spooky decorations at Halloween next year.
Snuggle!!!
Understand that school is hard.
Don’t get mad at me when I forget to do something.
Paint with me.
Have more movie nights.
Put away your phone.
Siblings can ask each other for gifts too. They often hope for a brother or sister to consider their feelings more. Or work on self control.
Holiday Wishes Between Siblings
Don’t call me names.
Ask before you take my stuff.
Let me have a turn when I ask for one.
Knock before you come into my room.
Be quieter in the morning so I can keep sleeping.
Stop saying potty words.
Ask for gifts that improve your mental health
We also know that children want happier parents. They want to see you feeling joyful, playful. And less stressed.
This year, ask for just one thing that would truly increase your own happiness. These are usually the things that are on your mind at red lights. Or as you fall asleep at night.
Asking for them directly has a way of bringing out your child’s or partner’s kindness. And it just might be the step forward your family needs.
What Parents Wish for from Children
A magic word that makes you do what I asked the first time.
Show kindness to your siblings.
Get yourself ready when it’s time to go.
Pack your own lunch.
Screech less, whisper more.
Be a team with me.
Wishes from Partners to One Another
Understand that I don’t mean to hurt your feelings.
Have a date night with me every week/month.
Just listen. You don’t have to fix it.
Back me up when I handle something differently than you would. I’m doing my best.
Come to bed with me, even if you aren’t going to sleep until later.
Try therapy with me.
The best requests are future oriented (do this NEXT time) and don’t place blame for past actions. They are reasonable and realistic. (Asking someone to do something more or less often rather than never.)
They also take into account the abilities of the person you’re asking. For example, a child with ADHD or executive function difficulties may have trouble fulfilling a wish to manage assignments independently. Or get ready on time daily.
If that’s the case with your partner or child, consider what the next small step toward the goal might be. Then ask for that.
And of course, if your wish includes therapy, we’re happy to help.
Our online child and family therapy services can be reached from anywhere in Maryland! Click to schedule a free consult today.
Happy Holidays to your family from ours!
