New Year: Renew Your Relationship
Find your way back to loving moments together
Our Licensed Couples Therapists and Marriage Counselors can help.
Do you remember when you first met the love of your life? That way that you felt in that moment: maybe you felt tingly and warm in their presence. Maybe you felt fully seen and heard. Or, maybe you felt calm in their acceptance and admiration.
What was it like getting ready to meet this person? Your forever person. What was it like for you on the way back home as you basked in the afterglow of that first meeting? Do you remember how long that feeling stayed with you?
How hard was it for you in this moment to remember THAT moment, and more importantly that feeling?
It becomes so easy for relationships to fade in passion, admiration and respect. Maybe it’s easier to picture one of these scenes with one of these four horseman, as we Gottman trained therapists call them, present:
You are finishing up a long day of Zoom meetings and the kids have been having one of those days. Your significant other comes home and what is the first thing they ask? Not, “how was your day” or “do you want me to make dinner tonight” but instead it’s, “why are there still dirty dishes in the sink when you’ve been here all day?” This horseman is called CRITICISM
You’re exhausted. How do they not see what you’ve been juggling all day. Does she not see or hear the kids destroying the living room right now when you JUST ended a call? You sigh and say, “I just didn’t have time. Why don’t you do them, after all you got a break outside of the house away from the kids ALL day” Welcome the next horseman: DEFENSIVENESS
Maybe this is met with silence. You see an eye roll. There’s a large sigh and they leave the room. Hello to the horseman called CONTEMPT
It was already such a difficult day and now it feels even worse. Your significant other comes back into the room and says, “I’m sorry I didn’t even ask you how your day was”. Now it’s too late. You’re mad and you’re done. You sit in silence and ignore this bid for your attention. You’re familiar with the last horseman known as STONEWALLING
These four horseman don’t have to signal the APOCALYPSE is near for your relationship!
New beginnings ARE possible!
Imagine if instead when your significant other came home if they had said, “you must have had a busy day today!” And you responded, “I did - I didn’t even get to touch the dishes from last night.” What follows is a discussion about who will tackle the crusty dishes and maybe even a moment where you both express your frustrations from the day while your partner listens.
What would that moment feel like for you?
When you’re ready to look at each other in a new light and respond to each other in new ways, couples therapy is here for you. Sometimes having a fresh pair of eyes and a compassionate and understanding set of ears is just what your relationship needs. If you’re ready for a relationship renewal in 2022, we’re ready to meet you!