Balancing Joy & Pain, Hope & Despair, Insights from a Child & Family Therapist

It’s January 10, 2021 (as I am writing this).

We are still getting used to writing and/or typing 2-0-2-1. We are amidst great transition in a variety of ways. Our country is preparing to transition power from one president and political party to another. Our children are continuing to transition back to school after some time off for winter break. Our world is beginning to roll out the COVID-19 vaccine. And perhaps, ten days after ringing in the new year, we are continuing to reflect on how we want to do things differently this year.

If we tune into the news, we are met with a great deal of pain. If we sit and scroll through social media, we will likely see many reasons to despair. And yet, there are ways to find joy and better yet, there are reasons to still hold out hope.

Modeling Managing Uncertainty For Our Children

Particularly as caregivers, it is important to model for our children how to keep hope alive. Even amidst a great deal of sadness, anger, frustration and despair, we must find ways to focus on the good. This does not mean that we have to have it all together. Quite the contrary. It is equally as important to model for our children, how to display a wide variety of emotions, how to grable with feels of sadness, disappointment, anger and/or confusion. We can and should do both. And more often than not, without even giving it much thought, we already do.

Let’s Move Through Both, Together.

Life is full. Life is varied. Life is full.

As we begin another week, the second official week of 2-0-2-1, may we find small gratitudes in our lives. Perhaps it’s the recognition that our children have been quite resilient this school year. Maybe it’s the understanding that our partner and/or friend is really trying to be there for us. It may be something as simple as waking up on time, having a clean kitchen, noticing a moment of silence and/or laughter. It may be something much bigger, like seeing growth in ourselves and/or others, or being able to pay the rent or mortgage this month. Regardless, let us make room for both this year. Life has been BOTH stressful lately AND it has offered some goodness.

Both.

This world is full of reasons to feel joy and reasons to feel pain. This world is full of reasons to hope and reasons to despair. Let us make space for both this year. Let us make sure we support our children, friends, partners, and/or family members express both this year. Let us make sure we give ourselves permission to feel and time to heal, both.