ADHD: What are You Attending to?
You know how it happens. Your ten year old spends 4 hours beating her favorite video game. She doesn’t even take a break - her focus is laser-intense on winning that final quest.
Does she even have ADHD?
ADHD challenge focusing
Or, maybe it’s you! You spent an entire weekend day refinishing your grandma’s antique end tables in robin’s egg blue shabby chic. Why is it so hard to make that call to your insurance? Why do you have those items on your to-do list that are so important… but never get done.
Let’s break it down…
That video game and gorgeous pair of end tables are in that green reward zone. It is an activity that is both enjoyable and important. These activities trigger dopamine and we feel pleasure. The challenge is making the choice to do those grey zone activities that are important but NOT enjoyable (no dopamine=no pleasure boost). Dopamine boosts are available in low value tasks. So, often you may see your child getting stuck in yellow zone activities like that video game. It is enjoyable … but NOT important.
Then, of course, there are those dreaded red zone activities like watching a TV show that is NOT even enjoyable and definitely NOT important… But look at the clock, it’s now sucked up several hours of a beautiful Saturday. Why is this happening?
Why is it so hard?
It’s not that your child (or you) can’t pay attention. Look at those beautiful end tables! It’s that there are so many choices throughout the day where it’s easy to go from that important task off to something more fun. So what can you do?
Therapy helps when you feel stuck!
While doing a hard task, listen to music that triggers that reward feeling (predictable music has dopaminergic effects)
Start positive: reward your child when they make a good choice (staying quiet during a shopping trip; completing a homework problem on their own)
Ask them: how did you do that?
Don’t expect them to be able to explain… but keep asking and get them thinking about their choices!
Other tools for time management and focus with ADHD include:
Use a timer designed for ADHD
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