Being in relationships means that we play important roles in others’ lives. As life creates challenges for us and for those around us, we find ourselves prioritizing being a parent, partner, son, daughter, employee, boss, sibling, or friend to stay connected and support those we love (or keep our jobs). But what happens when the expectations of our various roles pull us in many different directions at once?

One of the most important changes you’ll make in therapy starts before you ever meet your therapist. It’s the shift from feeling stuck, trapped, or limited in your power to suddenly thinking “this is something I could change.”

I wake up on snow days with a mind full of possibilities. I could clean the closet, do my taxes, or spend all day playing with my kids! At the end of the day I usually feel disappointed (in myself) that I didn’t complete any of my grand plans. Here’s my advice for avoiding the same predicament.