Why is therapy “Better Together?”

Why did I name this practice “Better Together Family Therapy?”   I’m glad you asked!

First, let’s clarify what our name DOESN’T mean.   It doesn’t mean that we think all families should stay together and it doesn’t mean you have to bring your whole family to therapy.   You won’t find us pushing you to make a particular decision about any of your relationships.  In fact, we believe you can grow individually in any context and we trust you to make choices that work for you.

We also know that you want your relationships to be a source of joy and comfort.  You want the people who are closest to you to support you in doing what feels right to you. We know this because it’s what everyone wants, and with good reason.  It turns out that the health of our relationships has a big impact on our individual well-being.   Here’s why:

Neuroscientific research has long told us that human beings form their ability to feel and cope with emotions through their primary relationships.   This is the foundation of the concept of attachment, and the reason we work so hard to be good parents.  (Don’t worry.  This doesn’t mean that attachment parenting is the only way to get it right.) Within our brains, patterns of emotion and behavior that start in our families create a hidden script that tends to run automatically in all of our relationships, for better or for worse.   If that sounds like bad news for you, know that there’s good news too.

Thanks to something called neuroplasticity, our brains also continue to learn and grow as long as we live.  We can create new patterns, intentionally changing what happens when we feel strong emotions and expanding the choices we have in our relationships.  You can do this by yourself, with your child, with your partner, or as a family, but the more you do it with others, the better it works.   Whether you’re coming to see us on your own or together, the healing happens when you’re together.   And that’s why we call ourselves “Better Together.”