Special Needs Parents, We See You!

• We see you spending your spare time reading about your child’s condition.

• We see you planning a night in instead of a night out, because the Mary Poppins for your child has not yet been found.

• We see you educating friends and family while you’re still learning yourself.

• We see you agonizing over your parenting decisions and defending yourself when others second guess them.

We Hear You

• We hear you reminding others that this behavior is a symptom, not evidence of poor character or poor parenting.

• We hear you holding your breath as you wait to see whether your child’s teacher will understand her.

• We hear you telling the school that he is trying harder already, that you have considered all the medicines that might help, and that there is no magic fix.

• We hear you calling schools just in case this is the year that a change is needed.

• We hear you snoring the instant your child is asleep, or tap tapping on your keyboard late at night to catch up on work, look for camps that might understand your child’s needs, or email an update to the Teacher/School Nurse/Neurologist/Psychiatrist/Developmental Pediatrician/Therapist

• We hear you explaining your personal circumstances to your boss out of fear that he/she won’t know you care about your job.

We Know You

• We know you well enough to know that only you can tell us what it’s like to be you.

• We know you have developed thicker skin than you thought you could.

• We know you have become a logistics wizard, squeezing appointments into weeks that seem to have no open hours left, and that your self care time is first to go.

• We know you are prepared for anything, logistically and emotionally.

• We know that worst case scenarios play in your head every day.

• We know that sometimes you need to be seen, and heard, and understood.           And we are here.

Your children may not yet have the time or the skills to tell you how much you help them, so we want you to know that we see the work you do every day.   We are excited for you when your child reaches a new milestone (every step counts!), and awed by the tireless work you do to help him/her get there.  The effort you put it does make a difference, and it’s a big one.

That doesn’t mean that you should stay up all night researching new ways to help.  Focusing on one step forward at a time can help you stay connected to your child in the moment and give you room to breathe.   Ask yourself “what is my goal for today/this week/this month?,” and aim for that with the tools you already have.   If you don’t get there, ask the professionals on your team what they think is a reasonable timeline and what else to try.   If you DO get there, jump for joy, and choose your next single step.

At Better Together Family Therapy we strive to ensure that your relationships aren’t lost in the whirlwind of raising a child with special needs.   We are thankful every day for the amazing families we get to meet as we do this work.   Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!