How to Keep Adult Friendships: Tips from a Maryland Therapist
How do you keep adult friendships as an adult with ADHD or anxiety?
Bonds and friendships are important for many reasons. Friendships bring joy into our lives and make us feel fulfilled. They help guide us when we need direction in our lives. They are there for the tears, the happiness, the good times and the bad. They make us feel more connected to the world.
Keeping up with friendships is hard, isn’t it? There’s not enough time in the day to keep up with everyone, life is busy, and though you do your best, you suddenly realize you haven’t talked to most of your friends outside of work in a month.
Stress gets to us and our social anxiety makes us want to hibernate for awhile, or our ADHD interferes and we forget our plans to connect with our friends. Here are a couple tips to keep those friendships fresh:
Send someone a friendly text (ADHD friendly strategy)
This one is ADHD friendly because you can do it quickly when you think of it. No planning ahead required!
It could be something as simple as ‘hey, how’s it going? Been a long time’ or a 3-paragraph essay that gets to the heart of how you appreciate your friend. Either way it will brighten your friend’s day. They’ll know that you care about them, and even if it’s been longer than you’d like, much appreciated.
Hang out & chat
Maybe you forgot this week, but coordinate with your friend to catch up and hang out. It could be over coffee, over zoom, or over the phone. Social anxiety or ADHD can sometimes make those hang out plans a little more difficult, but coordinating a time and immediately setting a reminder on your phone will make sure that you won’t forget to reconnect. Even the quick moments that you reconnect with a friend keeps your bond strong.
Take trips together
Whether it’s taking a girl’s trip to New York with your friends across the country or camping with some local friends, getting the space to reconnect in person without thinking about all the stressors can be a memorable bonding experience and important for adult friendships. Social anxiety and ADHD sometimes can make it hard for these plans for these plans to be kept as they get nearer, but remind yourself to write down + set a goal (to have fun!) and go despite the anxiety talking or potential forgetfulness. These experiences are important to help deepen your bond with friends by creating shared experiences — experiences for all of you to look back fondly on and look forward to in the future.
Afraid adult ADHD will make you forget to do it? Here are some quick tips:
Set a reminder in your phone
Designate a day to catch up with friends
Ask your friend to call
Not sure you have friendships you want to keep? Try our guidance on how to make friends as an adult. And for more personalized help making and keeping adult friendships, request an appointment.
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