Help Your Relationship Bloom This Spring
Advice from our Maryland Licensed Couples Therapists
Spring is the time when the trees and flowers bounce back to life. If you’re feeling like your relationship could use a boost to really blossom this spring, consider doing the following.
Go for a walk together after dinner, or sit outside and look for stars before bed.
Search for free outdoor activities happening this summer and plan to do them together.
Set a goal together. Consider what you both want and need from each other and try to do something that gets you closer to both of those wants/needs. For example, if you want more physical contact and your partner wants more alone time, your goal may be to keep a weekly calendar that carves out time for both and stick to it.
Re-read old cards and letters, and write your partner a thank you note for the support he/she has given over the years.
Attend a workshop or retreat for couples. Try BetterMarriages.org or Marriage.com to look for options.
Read a book about relationships together. Resist the temptation to focus on what your partner should change by choosing to share one insight you gained about yourself from each chapter.
Put an old argument to rest. Consider something you’ve been nagging your partner about over time and accept that the nagging hasn’t worked. If it’s an absolutely necessary task (paying taxes or mowing the lawn, for example), take care of it yourself or hire someone to do it. Otherwise, recognize that it can’t be changed and let it go. Be sure to let your partner know that you’ve decided the quality of the relationship matters more to you than winning this old battle. Read more on this topic here.
Consider a short course of couples therapy (4-6 sessions) to reconnect with each other and refocus on your mutual goals. Schedule an appointment here.
Does Insurance Cover Couples Therapy?
This is a common question, and one for which we often hear wrong answers. The wrong answer comes because the question isn’t specific enough. It’s like asking “does my insurance cover arm surgery?” It probably does, but only if you have a condition that the surgery would help with.
It might be better to ask “under what conditions might my insurance cover couples therapy?” And for that, we have answers.
If you or your partner has anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism, or another condition that affects how your relationship functions, you can come to therapy together to treat it.
If you are on the same insurance policy, bringing your partner to therapy with you is family therapy. Does your insurance cover family therapy? Probably. (Again, if you have a condition that could be improved by the therapy.) This may also be true if you’re not on the same policy, but you’ll need to check with the insurance carrier in that case.
Not sure if there’s a medical condition involved? Ask a therapist! If a recent life stressor has changed how you are functioning as a couple, this might be a diagnosable condition called an “adjustment disorder.” Or some of the challenges you are facing could be the result of a condition you didn’t know you had.
Coming to therapy to treat a diagnosed condition doesn’t mean that your struggles as a couple are the fault of the person who is diagnosed. Couple dysfunction ALWAYS results from the interplay of two people’s emotions and actions. Therapists well trained in couples therapy know this, and won’t be blaming either of you for what’s going on.
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