Coping Skills, the Musical (Frozen 2)

Disney often builds life lessons into its productions, but few are as packed with helpful content as Frozen 2.   Throughout the film characters struggle to find and retain their inner strength and sense of self worth.   Their strategies for perseverance are displayed in catchy songs and witty comebacks.  Here are just a few of the valuable coping skills found in the film.   Warning: this post contains spoilers for Frozen 2.

Focus on What You Can Control

After evacuating the kingdom, Olaf plays a game with some children.  He calls the game “controlling what you can when things feel out of control.”  Maintaining an internal locus of control (a sense that we still have power over something) is a key component of mental health in times of crisis.  Anna illustrates this concept further when she sings “Do the Next Right Thing” to remind herself to keep doing what she can.

Rely on Your Support System

Anna articulates this beautifully when she tells Olaf “I don’t worry because I have [my friends and family] and the gates are open and I’m not alone.”  She says this in a moment of crisis, having just evacuated the kingdom she calls home.  Having supportive others around her is the key to her coping strategy.   Just before Elsa ventures out alone Anna tries to convince her to use the same strategy, saying “I don’t want you dying trying to do everything for everyone else too.  Don’t do this alone.  Let me help you, please!”  Elsa doesn’t listen in that moment, but ultimately is only able to save the day with Anna’s help.

Maintain Good Boundaries

When Elsa becomes distraught that her parents died on a journey to understand her powers, Anna simply tells her “you aren’t responsible for their choices.”   As a family therapist, this is my favorite line in the entire movie.   It invokes Murray Bowen’s concept of “differentiation of self,” which means understanding and articulating your own needs and emotional experience while remaining connected to others.   It is the opposite of trying to control others’ actions with your own (or feeling guilt for not having controlled them).   This lesson is especially important when a loved one is spiraling out of control, and is the central concept taught in support groups for family members of those battling addiction.  You are not responsible for anyone else’s choices.

When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed, Zoom Out to the Bigger Picture

Olaf’s fear is growing on the way through the enchanted forest.  He quickly reassures himself, singing  “This will all make sense when I am older.  Someday I will see that this makes sense.  One day when I’m old and wise, I’ll think back and realize these were all completely normal events.”  Expanding the timeline into the future reminds Olaf (and us) that this is just a difficult moment, which will eventually come to an end.  Looking back can also remind us that we (or our ancestors) have made it through difficult moments before.

When You’re Feeling Hopeless/Powerless, Zoom In to the Here and Now

Pabbie (Grandpa Troll) says early in the film “When one can see no future, all one can do is the next right thing.” Lieutenant Mattias reiterates this lesson to Anna in the enchanted forest.  He says “Be prepared.  Just when you think you’ve found your way life will throw you onto a new path.”   Anna asks “what do you do when it does?”  He replies “Don’t give up.  Take it one step at a time.”  Anna recalls this lesson in song when she believes she has lost her sister, and it helps her to keep going long enough to find hope again.   This lesson is timely in the summer of 2020.  It’s not possible to think several steps ahead when our context is rapidly changing.  Focusing on what can be done today and tomorrow keeps us grounded as we wait for answers.

Embrace Change by Remembering What’s Constant

Watching an autumn leaf flutter to the ground, Olaf says “I wish this could last forever, and yet change mocks us with her beauty.”  Anna responds with a song entitled “Some Things Never Change.”  She is reminding Olaf that there are constants even in a rapidly changing world.   This lesson is especially timely in 2020 as our daily habits are disrupted by a pandemic.  What’s constant for you may be your friends and family, your core values, your faith, or your inner strength.  And what’s changing might include some old habits that needed to go.

Use Humor

Once again playing with children (the true experts on play), Olaf asks “How do you guys cope with the ever increasing complexity of thought that comes with maturity?” In response, a child sticks a carrot up his nose and they all laugh.   Humor is a tool to diffuse tension.  Remember this when your children make a joke at a seemingly inappropriate time.  They are likely feeling overwhelmed.

Use Curiosity to Diffuse Conflict

The entire journey of the main characters in Frozen 2 is a search for new knowledge.  They enter the enchanted forest knowing that they want to help “free the forest,” but acknowledging from the beginning that they don’t know how.  Only when they listen to the people their ancestors treated as enemies do they have all the information they need.   This lesson also appears in a brief interaction between Elsa and the fire spirit.  Elsa stops to watch and listen, and seeing her curiosity the spirit responds with its own.  This moment of listening to one another stops the conflict between the fire spirit and Elsa’s ice power.  The lesson in this for 2020 is clear.  To achieve growth and healing, we must listen to those we have silenced.