When will we go back to school? Can we travel for the holidays? Will COVID-19 ever end? A family therapist weighs in on what we should do when we just don't know.

We live in a time of information on-demand. Where not knowing is a very strange feeling. We’re not so good at waiting anymore.

And yet, right now we are waiting. Waiting for a COVID vaccine. Waiting for election results. Waiting for reopening plans.

New knowledge comes at a slow pace. It creates far more questions than answers. But the answers will affect our daily lives.

We want to know. NOW! Some of us will naturally tolerate the wait better than others. But all of us can learn.

Perhaps the waiting is making you feel on edge. Agitated. Anxious.

Counseling or Therapy can help. Find it in Kensington, Maryland.

That anxiety can quickly turn to anger. When we hope for a certain outcome and others disagree. It might even cause fights within your family.

If you’re arguing about politics. Or strategies to stay healthy during COVID. We address that here in our post about social distancing in families.

What would a family counselor tell you to do?

There are several things to do. When you have questions, but no answers (yet). 

1. You can ask the questions that arise. And search or listen for answers.

2. You can firmly establish what you do know. And draw comfort from focus on this knowledge.  (The song “Some Things Never Change” from Frozen 2 is a great example ).

3. You can attempt to avoid or ignore the situation. And engage in something else.

These sound like options on a menu. But actually you need to do all 3. Together they are a healthy way to cope with uncertainty.

We can strike a balance among these three strategies. We can learn and grow. While also feeling more content and at peace.

We are still facing a pandemic. Balance includes having some times in which we work, exercise, read a book. Play a game, watch a movie. Do something unrelated to the virus.  

Balance also means choosing where and when to get our news. And seeking it when we need it, not whenever it comes. It also includes asking curious questions and looking up the answers. Or reading articles that contain clear data. 

Finally, balance includes relying on the knowledge we do have.

We have general health practices. Such as hand washing, avoiding contact with sick people, and mask wearing. These tools always offer some protection from illness.

They still work, regardless of what we do/don’t know about emerging variants. Or school reopening plans.

We also have priorities in our lives that don’t change. We strive to nurture our kids. And show kindness to our partners.

If you find yourself feeling anxious or depressed.

Try making a slight change in the balance of the 3 strategies above.

1. Scrolling through your news feed multiple times each day?   Give yourself a dedicated time to check the news. And leave it alone the rest of the time.   

   Use the extra time to focus on what you know. Or distract yourself with an activity you enjoy. 

2. Feeling distrustful of the information you read? Or unsure of what to believe?   Zoom in on the things that you know for certain.

   These things endure over time. Such as your core beliefs. Or your love for someone. 

   Spend some time only in the present moment (mindfulness). And increase the distractions in your day. To balance out the feeling of uncertainty.  

3. Having trouble making decisions?   Ask a few specific questions. And search for the answers to point you toward resolution. 

   Remember to keep your focus on the next step YOU can take. Rather than what you hope others will do.

And when in doubt, always try to get a little more sleep. A little more exercise. A good snuggle.

And let yourself play. It goes a long way toward restoring your mental health.   

When that doesn’t seem to be enough, reach out for some help.  We are here to support you.