Summertime is a great chance to socialize. Why? People may have more free time. They are outdoors. The weather is nice. Your mood feels brighter. Everything feels a little more free and at ease.

You may find it hard to socialize even when you’d like to. Sometimes it just feels like too much all at once. ‘What if they don’t like me, or think I’m stupid?’ runs through your head constantly. That might be social anxiety. It could also be something else. Keep reading to find out.

What is Social Anxiety? A Maryland Therapist answers.

What is social anxiety? Social anxiety is the reaction to a heightened sense of fear around others. In other words, alarm bells are constantly ringing when you socialize with others.

People can experience social anxiety differently. Some experience it around a general crowd, whether it’s with those they love or around strangers. Some people feel socially anxious in a certain setting, perhaps with people that they hope to talk to at a party. Some experience it without talking to others, especially if they’re in a crowded space with many people.

Social Anxiety or Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

You might also feel uncomfortable in social settings if you experience rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD). This is a term you probably haven’t heard before. It means an intense fear that others will judge or dislike you, and a deep hurt when we feel judged or rejected. If your anxious thoughts focus mostly on how others will perceive you, you may have RSD.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and ADHD

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is very common in people who have ADHD. We’re not exactly sure why, but there are a few theories. People with ADHD tend to have big emotional reactions in general. So perhaps RSD is the bigger version of a fear that we all have.

People with ADHD are also corrected a lot in childhood. We hear “don’t do that” or “you need to focus” over and over again. So RSD may come from the experience of feeling rejected or judged by parents, teachers, and peers. Regardless of where it comes from, RSD, like social anxiety, can make it hard to get out and meet people.

Prepare for the uncomfortable

If socializing makes you anxious or uncomfortable, it doesn’t have to stop you. It helps to know that you’ll feel uncomfortable, and have ideas for how to manage that feeling. Try reading this mindfulness post for 3 great tips on grounding yourself in the moment. Then get out there and experience the discomfort. You can do it!

3 ways to practice social skills during the summer

Plan a picnic

Pick a nice day, grab your picnic basket, and grab a spot at your local park. You’ll find that there are many families out and about. People tend to be out and about and playing. This is a great opportunity to socialize with others. It opens the door to socialization. Often our social stratospheres tend to mingle when in an open space like a park. Balls are flying. People are walking around. Everyone is at ease and having a good time.

Because there is less of a boundary in terms of the space people often spontaneously socialize with each other. Sometimes people in the park may ask you a question. Or comment on your cute picnic set up. Or be interested in the book that you’re reading.

And if they don’t? You can. Try one comment or question. Comment on something you like. Comment on someone’s dress. Or pet a dog and ask about their dog if they have one. There are many ways to create the opportunity to socialize outdoors.

Walk your dog (or any other creature pal)

This leads me to the next way to create social opportunities: pets. Your furry friend is the best wing man or woman! Dogs and other creature pals are often great icebreakers. They often pave the way for conversation. People want to interact with dogs and other creatures, and they often will ask you pet-related questions while petting them.

This is a great chance to socialize with others in the summertime in a non-pressured way. Since it’s summer, many people are outside. They are often at parks. People are not shy around animals and often come up to pets to pet them. Walk your dog around the block. Try running into three strangers (or at least walking within viewing distance of strangers) so they have the opportunity to meet your dog (and therefore you).

Pro tip: Go to the animal park. Many pet owners are some of the friendliest people you’ll ever get to know. They often want to get to know your pet and get to know you in turn. You might have a great conversation about your furry friend that was the therapy you didn’t know you needed and get to practice your social skills. Two birds, one stone.

Go on a bike ride

Biking is a fun, easy way to increase your exercise and to socialize with others.

How? First seek out a biking crew.

Biking crews can be found online or in person. Try Meetup (a website tailored for groups, you can type in ‘biking’ in their search bar) or check out the many DC biking tours in the area.

In person, socialize where bikers often stop. It can be at a coffee shop - try Proteus Brews in College Park or Buna Bicycle Cafe in DC. These coffee bike shops are specifically tailored to the biking community. Check them out and ask to join a biking crew if there’s a biking crew around.

Next socialize with others.

There are many things to talk about when you join a biking crew. Comment on the beautiful scenery. Ask someone if they’ve ever been to this area or how long they’ve been a part of this biking crew. Or comment on one thing you’re interested in. There are often many people in a biking crew and many things to ask as part of a shared experience.

Get some ice cream

This is a classic summer pastime! Getting ice cream (especially from an ice cream truck) can be an easy way to meet people. Ask the person standing in front of you or behind you a question. Make a comment about the weather. Talk about how hot it is. See if that opens the door for further conversation. If it does, great! Continue your friendly chat with summertime plans.

These are just four of many ways to practice social skills. Simply choosing to talk to one stranger day will help you practice socializing. It might even become a habit. And the more familiar an activity is, the less scary it becomes.

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