Living in the here and now is usually a good thing.  It helps keep our anxiety about the future at bay.   Right now, however, our day to day behavior is centered around prevention of illness.   We are focused on the worst case scenario in order to stay safe.  So how do we keep some perspective during this time?

Child Therapists Say: Look at the Bigger Picture

When we zoom out and look at the days we’ve lived as a whole, these momentous months of social distancing are a very small piece.    For our children it’s a larger percentage. And for many it’s the first time they have been aware that something happening across the globe can actually affect them.   

Zooming out to see the big picture can help them understand that it’s still just a moment in time.   To make this clear, we recommend drawing an actual picture.

Consider making a life timeline.   Thanks to the common core, your child likely knows how to make a number line.  Start with a number line that shows your child’s life in years (like a ruler, where each inch or centimeter is one year).  

Continue the number line for a few years past his/her current age to show the future.  Divide it into months (12 months per section of the line).  How small do the months have to be to fit?

Counselors Remind Us: Don’t Forget to Include the Positive

Now add some events to your timeline.   Include good things that have happened such as birthdays, graduations, meeting a new friend, getting a pet, getting a good grade, learning a new skill, etc.  

Choose a color to represent the good times, and make a dot for each of these events.    Next, add some moments of stress.  Choose a color to represent any losses or difficult moments you’ve endured. 

For adults these might include breakups, 9/11/2001, the housing bubble and subsequent economic downturn, losses/changes of employment, illnesses, and any trauma or death experienced.   For kids, they might include having a friend move away, the loss of a pet, a move from a beloved neighborhood, a divorce, or starting a new school.

Family Therapists Say: Have a Coping Conversation

Ask your child, “when you look at the timeline, do you see how many hard things you have already gone through?  How do you think you got through them?  Do you notice any good events that came after the bad?” 

Color in the months that you’ve been enduring this pandemic.   How big are they compared to the whole timeline?   Might there be more good events coming in the future?   

Perhaps there is a graduation in the coming years, or your teen is planning to learn to drive.   What about the age at which your elementary schooler might get his/her own smartphone?  Fill in those future events as things to look forward to.

And, as always, if you’d like a little more help, reach out to schedule a free 15 minute consult.