Everything is Terrible and It’s Just Getting Worse. Is it time for counseling?
Everything is terrible. And it’s just getting worse.
Have you felt this way recently? Maybe after the presidential debate? Or after reading your social media feed?
You’re feeling this way about politics. Or COVID-19. And maybe even your relationships.
Maybe your family is fighting. About the topics above. Because everyone is feeling afraid of what’s to come.
So how do you know when your stress is “normal?” And when you need help? And what is this awful feeling, anyway?
Is it anxiety?
You may be feeling moments of anxiety. Or a rapidly growing undercurrent of anxiety. Anxiety feels like a sense of unease or even fear.
Being so overwhelmed that you can’t focus. A tightness in your throat. In your chest.
Your heart racing. Your mind and to-do list racing. A feeling of being trapped, or stuck.
If your thoughts are going in circles. Click here for strategies to shift your thinking.
Feeling anxious right now can be normal
You’re living in a global pandemic. There is a lot of uncertainty. About when life can go “back to normal.” About how to stay safe in the present.
We have lost many of our previous routines. That loss can leave us feeling out of control. You probably have ways of feeling more in control.
Notice what they are. Are they serving you well? If so, stick with them!
But if some of them are making you feel worse. Or creating conflict in your family. It might be time to try something new.
How do family therapists (or child therapists or marriage counselors) manage their own anxiety?
Therapists are used to intense emotions. But it doesn’t make us immune. We feel them too.
But there are things we do that help us cope. We’ll share them here. So they can help you, too.
Take the long view. And move toward it one step at a time.
Often what you want to change is big. It takes effort over time. This is true for cultural or political change, and for personal change.
Remember what you want the end result to be. Then take one small step toward it. When that step is done, look for the next one.
Resist the temptation to focus on every step at once. Especially if you’re feeling negative.
Tune in deeply to the moment you’re in.
When your family is arguing around you. Or what you’re doing is making you tense. Lean back and feel your chair supporting you.
Notice the solid ground beneath your feet. The sun or the clouds. An object nearby.
If you still feel agitated. Try repeating “I am here. I am alive.” Or ”I am safe.”
This tool also works to give you a moment of pause. When your child is melting down. And you want your best self to respond.
Make time to reset. And make it a habit.
Therapists take a few minutes after every session to do clinical notes. But it’s not just for tracking information. Note taking is a ritual.
It helps us let go of the ideas and emotions we are holding. So we can be fully present with the next person. With a clear head and a calm heart.
You can do this too! In moments of transition, take several deep breaths. Drink a cup of tea or a glass of water.
You may need to put your to-do’s or thoughts on paper. In order to move on. Confident that you won’t forget those tasks.
If you’re holding an emotion, try drawing it. If it’s a worry for someone else, imagine that person. Wish them well and picture your wishes traveling to them.
When to seek counseling for depression or anxiety
A licensed therapist can help you. To take breaks from the overwhelm. To find tools to get your balance back.
But when do you need one? If these feelings become so powerful that you can’t work. Or parent.
If you’re feeling negative about everything. Even the people you love. And the things you used to enjoy.
Or you’re constantly irritable. And you’ve tried adjusting basic things like exercise and sleep. But you don’t feel better.
If you aren’t sure whether counseling will help, request a free 15 minute consult. We’ll talk it through with you!
And if this post reminded you of how a friend is feeling. Share this post on social media to help them get support.