The Neuroscience of Brain Development and Its Impact on Parenting
Why did my child do that?! We ask them to tell us, but they rarely have the answers. Fortunately, experts who study brain development can help us sort it all out.
A Maryland Child and Family Therapist explains how understanding brain development can radically change how you parent your child
Parenthood is a journey filled with awe, challenges, and growth, not just for children but for parents as well. As a psychotherapist specializing in child and family therapy, I've witnessed firsthand the intricate dance between brain development and parenting.
The field of neuroscience offers valuable insights into how the brain evolves from infancy through adolescence, shaping behaviors, emotions, and relationships. Understanding these processes empowers parents to navigate the complexities of raising children with compassion and intentionality.
Behavior is an expression of how we process emotions, even before we know what emotions are.
Early Brain Development: Laying the Foundation
Brain development is a fascinating journey that unfolds systematically, starting from the very core and gradually expanding outward. It's like building a house from the foundation up, with each stage laying the groundwork for the next.
The journey begins in utero, where the brainstem—the oldest and most primitive part of the brain—takes shape. This is where our instinctual responses, like the freeze, flight, or fight reaction, originate. It's also the command center for processing information from our five senses and regulating vital functions through the autonomic nervous system.
As development progresses, the spotlight shifts to the diencephalon, the action-oriented region of the brain. Here, rapid-fire communication between neurons orchestrates our immediate responses to stimuli. Picture this: You accidentally touch something hot. Before your conscious mind even registers the pain, your brainstem springs into action, sending urgent signals to retract your hand. It's a split-second reaction driven by primal instincts, with conscious awareness trailing behind.
Moving up the ladder of brain development, we encounter the limbic system—the emotional epicenter of the brain. While emotions are present from the earliest days of life, it takes time for this complex system to fully mature. Around the ages of ten-thirteen, the limbic system comes online, shaping our emotional experiences and responses to the world around us. (Hence, why adolescence can be so much fun.)
Finally, we reach the pinnacle of brain development: the cortex—the seat of higher-order thinking and reasoning around the age of twenty-five. This is where abstract thought, decision-making, and self-awareness reside. However, unlike the brainstem's swift reflexes, the cortex operates at a more leisurely pace, taking its time to weigh options and anticipate consequences.
Brain development and ADHD
It's important to note that this developmental journey unfolds at its own pace, with individual variations influenced by genetics, environment, and neurodiversity. For those with diagnoses such as ADHD or autism, the timeline may deviate from the norm, with developmental milestones delayed by 2-3 years. Some studies have suggested it could be as much as a 5 year difference.
Reach out to a neurodiversity affirming therapist to learn more about supporting growth in your child’s neurodivergent brain.
Behavior as a window into brain development
Understanding the sequential nature of brain development sheds light on the behaviors and responses we observe in children and adolescents. When a young child struggles to articulate their emotions or a teenager acts impulsively without apparent cause, it's not a lack of understanding or willful disobedience—it's simply a reflection of their brain's stage of development.
So the next time you interact with a child or teenager, remember to meet them where they are on their developmental journey. Offer patience, empathy, and understanding, knowing that beneath their actions lie the intricate workings of a brain in progress.
Author and podcaster Robyn Gobbel states “All behavior, no matter how baffling, can be explained and remedied.” Doesn’t that sound amazing? We’ll help you get started.
Nurture: The Role of Experience in Brain Wiring
Every interaction a child has, from cuddling to playing peek-a-boo, leaves a mark on their developing brain. Neural connections, or synapses, proliferate in response to stimuli, forming intricate networks that shape cognitive and emotional functioning. This process, known as synaptic pruning, refines the brain's circuitry by eliminating unused connections and strengthening those that are frequently activated.
Parenting practices can either enhance or hinder this process. Positive experiences, such as reading to a child or engaging in imaginative play, promote neural growth and connectivity. Conversely, exposure to adversity, such as neglect or trauma, can disrupt healthy brain development, leading to long-term consequences for cognitive and emotional functioning.
Sensitive Periods: Windows of Opportunity
The developing brain is most sensitive to certain types of stimuli during critical periods, or sensitive periods, when specific skills are primed for acquisition. For example, the first few years of life represent a critical period for language development, during which exposure to rich linguistic input is essential for acquiring vocabulary and grammar.
Understanding these sensitive periods can inform parenting practices. Exposing children to diverse experiences and enriching environments during these windows of opportunity can optimize their developmental outcomes. For instance, introducing musical instruments during early childhood can capitalize on the brain's heightened plasticity for auditory learning, fostering musical aptitude and appreciation.
The Teenage Brain: A Work in Progress
Adolescence is often characterized by tumultuous changes, both biological and psychological. The teenage brain undergoes significant remodeling, particularly in the prefrontal cortex—the region responsible for executive functions such as decision-making, impulse control, and planning. This remodeling reflects the ongoing maturation of neural circuits involved in self-regulation and emotional regulation.
Parenting adolescents requires a delicate balance of autonomy and guidance. While teenagers strive for independence, they still rely on parental support and guidance to navigate the complexities of adolescence. Establishing open communication, setting clear boundaries, and fostering autonomy within a supportive framework can facilitate healthy adolescent development.
The Impact of Parenting on Brain Development: 5 Things You Can Do
Parenting is a reciprocal process, shaping both children and parents alike. Neuroscientific research highlights the profound impact of parenting practices on brain development across the lifespan. Warm, nurturing caregiving promotes the release of oxytocin and other neurochemicals associated with bonding and stress reduction, fostering emotional resilience and well-being in both children and parents.
Conversely, harsh or inconsistent parenting can trigger the release of stress hormones such as cortisol, contributing to a heightened stress response and impairing neural circuits involved in emotion regulation and stress management. Chronic exposure to stress during childhood can have lasting effects on brain structure and function, increasing the risk of mental health problems later in life.
As parents, we hold the power to shape our children's brains through everyday interactions and experiences. Here are some practical strategies informed by neuroscience to nurture healthy brain development:
Responsive caregiving and co-regulation are core parenting practices
These two go hand in hand. Co-regulation can’t happen without a responsive caregiver. Together, responsive caregiving and co-regulation form the cornerstones of healthy parent-child relationships. Responsive caregiving simply means being aware of and attuned to a child’s needs, and taking action as needed to meet them. (The opposite of responsive caregiving is neglect.)
Co-regulation refers to the dynamic interplay between parent and child, where the parent provides a secure and supportive environment for the child to regulate their emotions and behaviors. Unlike self-regulation, which relies solely on internal processes, co-regulation involves external support from a trusted caregiver. Through attuned responses, active listening, and empathetic validation, parents create a safe haven where children can express themselves authentically and learn to navigate their emotions effectively. Co-regulation not only fosters emotional resilience and self-awareness but also strengthens the parent-child bond, laying the groundwork for lifelong trust and connection.
2. Support play as a building block of healthy brain development
Play is not just a pastime for children; it's a fundamental building block of neurodevelopment that lays the groundwork for learning, socialization, and emotional well-being. When children engage in play, whether it's imaginative pretend play, physical roughhousing, or cooperative games, they are actively shaping their brains and honing essential skills. Through play, children learn to problem-solve, regulate their emotions, and navigate social interactions, all while flexing their creativity and imagination.
As parents, our role in play is crucial. We should strive to create environments that foster exploration, provide opportunities for unstructured play, and actively engage with our children during playtime. By joining in their games, following their lead, and offering support and encouragement, we not only deepen our bond with our children but also provide them with the scaffolding they need to thrive neurologically, emotionally, and socially.
3. Use routines to provide a sense of safety
Routines are the unsung heroes of parenting, providing stability, predictability, and structure that are crucial for fostering healthy brain development in children. From morning rituals to bedtime routines, these predictable patterns create a sense of security and safety, allowing children to navigate their world with confidence.
Research shows that routines help regulate stress hormones, promote emotional resilience, and support cognitive development by reinforcing neural pathways associated with organization and self-regulation. By establishing consistent routines, parents create a nurturing environment where children can thrive, laying the foundation for lifelong habits of self-discipline and emotional well-being.
4. Show empathy to help your child’s brain learn emotion regulation
When parents model empathy—by actively listening, validating feelings, and showing understanding—they not only cultivate a deeper connection with their children but also lay the groundwork for crucial neural pathways associated with emotional regulation and social intelligence. Research suggests that children learn empathy through observation and imitation, making parental modeling a powerful tool for shaping their developing brains.
By consistently demonstrating empathy in our interactions, we teach children the importance of compassion, kindness, and understanding, nurturing their capacity for empathy and building a solid foundation for healthy relationships and emotional well-being.
5. Encourage autonomy to build decision making skills
Encouraging autonomy is essential for fostering healthy brain development in children, empowering them to explore, learn, and grow with confidence. When parents support their children's autonomy—by offering choices, encouraging independence, and respecting their decisions—they promote the development of key neural pathways associated with self-regulation and decision-making.
Research suggests that autonomy-supportive parenting fosters intrinsic motivation and a sense of competence, laying the groundwork for a growth mindset and resilience in the face of challenges. By nurturing autonomy, parents provide children with the opportunity to develop critical skills such as problem-solving, initiative, and self-efficacy, setting them on a path toward lifelong success and well-being.
Parenting is a journey of discovery, growth, and love—a journey deeply intertwined with the science of brain development. By understanding the neuroscience behind childhood development, parents can cultivate environments that support optimal brain growth and emotional well-being. With intentionality, compassion, and knowledge, we can nurture the next generation to thrive and flourish in a rapidly changing world.